I had agreed on swap dates with an exchanger in my favorite city. She sent her home exchange instructions in advance via email so I could sign a form stating I agreed to them. One of the things she demanded was a $500 deposit. This struck me as very odd. I had never been asked for a security deposit by a home exchanger. However, the request for money was not as off-putting as the home info she sent. Here are some excerpts, with all identifying information removed. It has not otherwise been edited or condensed: all ellipses are the original writer's.
"all spices left behind by previous guests are for your use. feel free to replenish what you use before you move on. "
Hmmm, so other people who stayed in this rental property left the remainder of some spices they had used but if I sprinkle a bit of oregano on my pizza I have to buy a new jar? I always replace food the home exchanger purchased, but the attitude behind asking me to replace free items left by others did not seem hospitable. On the other hand, if the exchanger had said "please use any food or spices you find but please replace any you use up" I would have considered this reasonable. It's all in tone and presentation.
"Range, Cooking, Etc- the ceramic stove top is almost brand new. ONLY USE PAPER TOWELS WITH SPECIAL CLEANING SOLUTION, under kitchen sink, which you may replenish at home depot."
OK, treat the stove nicely. That's fine. But I always leave plenty of any special cleaning solutions I insist that guests use. I don't expect my guests to spend an afternoon at the giant hardware store she mentions, hunting for a particular cleaner. How much cleaning solution could I possibly use that I would need to replenish a full bottle after a four-day stay? But this was a minor quibble. What followed was not. Here's how the weirdness started:
"Microwave- please DO NOT PUT ANYTHING METAL INSIDE MICRO that includes foil, or forks - courtesy of microwave-for-dummies handbook. "
Uh, yeah. Microwaves have been a part of most kitchens in the industrialized world for about 20 years. We all know not to put metal in them. The "funny" reference to the Dummies book series just makes me feel that the swapper thinks I'm...dumb. There was more on this theme:
"Painting- check with owner before PAINTING OR DRILLING HOLES."
WTF? Who paints or drills holes in an exchange home. Is this swapper insane, or does she just think her swap partners are?
"Washer/Dryer- brand new, just like stove. easy as pie to use."
Really? It's pretty easy for people my age to figure out strange appliances, but my parents couldn't do it. How about a word or two about how to use the stove or laundry machines? Some people keep washer taps turned on, some religiously shut them off when not in use. And while I know how to operate most American washer/dryers, those in Europe confuse me. Might her appliances be difficult for a swapper from outside North America? Too much advice about things that are obvious, too little about potentially confusing issues. Strange.
"Plants- they seek your love and affection, approximately 2 times a week. please USE TEPID WATER ONLY. depending on how high you keep the heat, the plants will emote accordingly! "
Love, affection and emoting plants? Sorry, I'm not looking for a fling with your Norfolk Pine.
"Balconies- no dangerous objects to be hung off balconies- dangerous would include planters, rugs, brooms, bikes, snowboards, skates, toboggans, strollers, underwear, dogs, flags. drying clothes using the ultra modern �dryer� keeps the neighbors from trespassing on your secret gardens, and keeps our home from turning into �le flea market�!!!"
This seems to be another attempt at humor but it leaves me feeling kind of insulted. It makes no sense that I might hang a planter, dog or toboggan off the balcony. In fact, it isn't remotely possible that anyone would hang any of that long list of items "off" the balcony except a flag. As if a home exchanger wouldn't be able to settle in unless that flag they had brought from home were proudly waving.
And despite the ecological impact, I get it that she doesn't want laundry hung up to dry, but how does that make my underwear a "dangerous object"? In the snarky "ultra modern dryer", "dangerous objects" and "le flea market" comments I again get the sense that this person thinks her swap partners or renters are destructive morons.
The last part was the final straw:
"Courtyard- a few deep thoughts - spawned by historical heinous acts of �what were they thinking��
1. do not swing off courtyard lamp posts, even when you think no one�s watching
2. pick up your visitor�s dog�s poop as soon as the adorable little bugger has done the deed
3. do not park bikes in courtyard, we have a bike room and bike racks
4. do not park motorcycles in courtyard, even if it�s the sweetest Harley
5. do not leave lit candles unattended in courtyard, even for 2 seconds
6. do not have screaming matches ANYTIME, even for 2 seconds
7. do not play music at maximum levels between 11pm & 9am, 7 days a week."
It sounds like this exchanger has had really bad luck with renters. There is a fundamental difference between renters and swappers, however. When we had a house in New England we rented it several times to people who seemed decent but apparently thought their rental charge included grinding dirt into the rugs or ignoring any problems or repairs that came up until they developed into major issues.
We have NEVER had a problem with home exchangers of the sort we experienced with renters. Perhaps part of that is we spend more time getting to know our swap partners. I think it's simply that home exchangers know the only way our community can flourish is if we all treat our swap partners' homes with the utmost care.
These rude home exchange instructions, combined with the ridiculous demand for a $500 security deposit made us so uncomfortable that we canceled the exchange, but provided the exchanger with detailed instructions on how to book our secret ultra-cheap NYC hotel deal. We clearly explained why we were canceling. In response, the rental unit owner asked us to go ahead with the swap, agreeing to waive the $500 deposit. But the real damage had been done by her rude and weird home exchange instructions.
The impression this swapper's instructions and demands put forward was that of someone with a chip on her shoulder who expected the people in her rental unit to be destructive idiots. Being neither, we decided to avoid this situation entirely.
That's why I particularly recommend that you trade home instructions with swap partners before the exchange begins. Make sure you are all on the same page and in agreement with how to treat each other's homes. And if someone makes bizarre demands or you feel uncomfortable, communicate and disengage if necessary. All we have to go on in home exchange is the relationship we have crafted with our swap partner. If that relationship is dysfunctional, move along.
SUBSCRIBE NOW
You can subscribe to this blog to receive each day's post. Just enter your email below :
No comments:
Post a Comment