"Our home exchange experience in Europe was wonderful, wonderful and better than we had hoped. The home was lovely, the location ideal, the neighbors friendly. Our kids really enjoyed being in a real European family's home, and we learned a lot about all of our material similarities (toys, books, Ikea furniture, cd and dvd choices) and differences (primarily in the fridge!). Friends of our home exchangers picked us up at the airport; my family piked up the home exchangers here--all felt welcoming, real, trustworthy. We met the family back here and spent a lovely brief evening with them at our home.
Sounds great, doesn't it? So why am I feeling yucky? Well, it's mostly about the car. We asked them not to drive our car more than 500 miles, and they went to several distant tourist destinations. I think they logged more than 1000 miles on our car. I know US distances are huge and tempting, but we did ask them to keep our car more local.
My dad advised me to let it go, and I think those were sage words, considering all the positives in this situation. But then, when I went to fill up the car yesterday, I discovered the gas cap is missing. Again, we can all imagine a situation of forgetting a gas cap--I guess--but they didn't tell us about it. Finally, I carelessly left available a good copper pot. They actually ruined it. They left us an apologetic note but made no effort to replace it. I wouldn't expect them to know that it was an expensive pan, but they didn't even try to replace it with a cheap one. I was willing to mark that one up to wear and tear, but not combined with the car stuff. We were hyper-responsible about their house and car, and I am just left feeling less than great about their care and/or attitude. Graciousness, responsibility.
So, have you had experiences like this? Are they to be expected? How would you suggest I adjust my attitude--or should I address the family?
Even with this feeling of being, frankly, "dissed", our overall experience was great and we know we'll exchange again. In fact, we loved their home so much we'd love to do it with them again (without a car swap!), but they're done with our state. But I would love to know how you would consider this experience with the car overuse, missing gas cap, ruined frying pan, and no efforts at amends or apologies about the car.
PS. Yes, of course, you can use this in the blog as long as all identifying stuff is changed, as you always seem to do. But if you have a quick response too, I'd love to hear it! Thanks"
Veteran exchangers, how would you address these complaints? Have you had problems like this? Let's help this family sort through their concerns as a community.
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