A man is at the doctor's office and she tells him "I have some bad news and some worse news."
The guy says "Give me the bad news."
The doctor tells him "You only have 24 hours to live".
The man says, "What news is worse than that?"
"I forgot to call you yesterday."
I relate this story to illustrate an important home exchange point: even if my last night on earth happened to occur during a luxurious home exchange vacation (and I hope it does) I would never invite guests to a swap home without the express permission of the owners.
Luckily I had that OK before I headed to our current swap in balmy (sort of) Southern California. We decided to bring together our LA friends and their kids, all of whom are the same ages as our two tykes. A Bar-B-Que seemed like the perfect family event.
At least, it seemed perfect to me. The swappers whose home we were about to use might have a different idea about six extra adults and their four kids partying in their home. I started by asking my swap partner if he would mind if I had friends over for a meal. I then asked if he would prefer that I host each couple individually or if it would be OK for us to have a cook-out for several couples and their little ones.
Not only did the home-owner agree to the Bar-b-Que, he made sure that the tank was filled and firing. As he put it, "You can grill for hours."
On the other hand, he could have said "we don't feel comfortable with you having guests over" and that would have been just fine. Trusting swap partners with whom you have established a rapport and made rules clear is not the same as wanting their random friends and possibly rowdy children wandering around in your home.
The key is to check this with the swappers in advance. You are not renting a house to treat however you like. This is someone's home and they are being kind enough to let you use it.
When I have guests at a swap I am responsible for their every action. That's why I had no hesitation to tell my friends that, sorry, their little ones who had not had lessons were not allowed to touch the piano. I imagined how the home exchangers might feel if little hands were banging on their antique ivory keys and suggested the kids enjoy the many toys we had set up in the playroom instead.
Aside from possibly alienating friends and family in the service of home exchange ideals, the Bar-b-Que was one of the best parties we have ever thrown. Only home exchange made it possible for us to spend under $100 to feed Porterhouse steak, chicken breasts and grilled veg to14 people (including my family) as well as treating the adults to beer and wine and the children to fresh-squeezed juice.
The relaxed family atmosphere was only possible in a home. It didn't have to be my home for it to be a fun party, but the friendly vibe would never have worked in a restaurant where the parents had to herd and shush the children. In the swap home, with toys, playrooms and even a kid-sized playhouse outside, we could relax and have fun with friends away from home. Home exchange made it happen.
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