MONEY AND THE HOME EXCHANGE OFFER

There are two ways I have seen families discuss their finances in a home exchange offer, and neither is attractive. I just received one of the top 10 unappealing swap offers of my 18 year home exchange career:

"We are coming to New York next April between the 18th and 26th.
We would like to find someone interested in coming to Paris during the same period.
Are you that kind of person ? :-) "

Problems with the opening paragraph:

1) No flexibility whatsoever. They already have their tickets, we can swap with them for exactly 8 days (despite the fact that this is an international exchange). They picked the dates and we have no choice over timing or duration.

2) Despite the fact that their dates are very limited they do not suggest any option for a non-simultaneous exchange.

3) Three months is not enough notice for an international swap, especially one with no flexibility regarding dates.

4) We already made it clear in several places in our swap listing that the week they specify will not work for our family under any circumstances due to the children's school schedules.

5) Are we "that kind of person"? This is a rather creepy line. And the emoticon doesn't help. I would chalk this up to a language barrier except that the swapper identifies herself as a professional English teacher and translator.

Another line that was less than tempting came next:

"We are financially stable and are looking forward to discovering NYC."

This is the second time someone has written an offer in which they claimed to be "financially stable". Oddly, this always has the opposite effect of that intended by the swapper. Rather than make me feel confident in the person's finances it makes me think that they have trouble in that area and thus feel a need to reassure me.

The last line also reflected a disinterest in our needs as swap partners:

"We are sure that you will have a nice stay in our flat."

This is a pleasant wish, but since the apartment on offer is the size of our tiny former 1-bedroom apartment, and we now have three generations of family members, that pleasant outcome is unlikely. That's especially true because we specifically state in the headline and body of our listing that we are not interested in the swappers' location. The exchangers disregarded the dates, destination and home size we need. Please don't make the same mistake with your own swap offers.

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