"Would you recommend being upfront about negatives about your home in the LISTING, or in emails that occur later? I want to manage expectations (we have a lovely condo in the Florida Keys with a few quirks) but not drive away inquiries. How to balance this?"
Ruth and I have never met and I have no idea what flaws she may be referencing. One clue may be the fact that she lives in the Florida Keys. The Keys are a laid-back and beautiful area where there is much more demand for housing than available land. Homes in the Keys tend to be quirky, just as Ruth describes. "Quirky" in this context would likely mean very small, old, possibly constructed in phases or with "innovative" building methods.
I have been offered a "manufactured" home more than once by folks living in parts of Florida where real estate is pricey. A manufactured home is also known as a trailer or "caravan" and is a form of cheap, movable recreational vehicle. These sorts of homes are generally set up in trailer parks with other such homes. Trailer parks have a bad reputation due to the fact that they provide cheap housing for low-income people, but in tourist areas they are more likely to be vacation homes.
This sort of thing may or may not be Ruth's issue. Perhaps she has a neighbor who retrieves the morning paper dressed only in a loincloth. Maybe alligators climb into her yard from the nearby swamp. I have no idea. But as a general rule of thumb, I would suggest the following:
YOUR VACATION OR YOUR LIFE
If your home's drawback is potentially life-threatening, let swappers know about it up-front, providing survival strategies if available. For example, I stayed at a swap home in San Francisco which was located in a "transitional" neighborhood. This is a nice, real-estate agent's way of saying "high-crime". The home exchanger was clear about the fact that the scary neighborhood was the reason he had been able to buy such a big, attractive home in San Francisco's notoriously expensive real estate market. His solution was to point out his home's security features and provide unlimited use of his new luxury car which was kept in an attached garage which had an automatic opener.
This was my first trip back to California after moving back East. Having lived in San Francisco for many years I knew the swapper's neighborhood was awful before he mentioned it. If he had tried to gloss over this fact I would not have trusted him. But if I had been a stranger to the area and arrived to find the neighborhood was dangerous the exchanger would have had angry people inside his home.
Hiding dangerous flaws in your swap set up can put your property at risk. Many people are not used to locking their doors. Some leave car keys in the ignition of their car. If you live in a high-crime area and you are not clear with your potential swap partners about how to keep themselves -- and your property -- safe that will affect more than your moral responsibility to keep your guests alive.
WEIGHING INCONVENIENCES
If staying at your home involves significant inconvenience for the swapper, it looks sneaky to throw that information in casually after negotiations on an exchange have begun. Let the exchangers know before hand if you have farm animals that need to be fed, milked or exercised. If your grandmother lives in the attic, do not try to slip that information in when the swap partners have already purchased their tickets to your town.
FLAT-OUT LYING
Lies of omission are a big red flag when I review a home listing. I look for headlines that say the home is located in "Popular Destination-Area" but do not specify the actual location of the home. Because I specifically mention my desire to visit the Northern California Wine Country, I pay close attention to offers that claim to be in that region. Many are located far from vineyards in urban or industrial areas. I happen to know Northern California like the back of my hand, which swappers would not expect, since I live on the East Coast. Anyone who lies to me goes into the "bad" email folder.
EXPLAIN WHY YOUR HOME SEEMS WEIRD
There are many ways to make your home's flaw into an advantage. For example, I am clear in my own listing about the exact square footage of my apartment. While my home is small for our family by American standards, relative to the average Manhattan apartment it is huge. You may need to educate potential swap partners about housing standards in your area. I note the fact that my home is one-third smaller than the average American domicile, but I also make it clear that it is 50% larger than the average Manhattan apartment.
AUTHENTICITY IS NO DRAWBACK
Something that seems to be a negative to you may seem "quaint" or "authentic" to your adventurous exchange partner. If I traveled to England I would expect homes to be smaller, older, and colder than those I grew up with. In Amsterdam I was delighted, if scared, by the authentically narrow, steep stairs between the levels of the 17th century canal house we used. We stayed in a home in Virginia that started out as a Revolutionary War Era cabin. It was dark, the rooms were small and the ceilings uncomfortably low but it was a fascinating experience to stay there.
SOME THINGS ARE FAIR GAME TO MENTION LATER
A swap home is not a hotel. You may have a water heater that needs to be relit every so often. Perhaps your electrical wiring can't handle more than one major appliance at one time. The bedroom door may rattle unless a washcloth is placed between the top of the door and the doorframe. All of these are normal home quirks that can be mentioned in your home exchange instructions after the swappers arrive.
So a general rule of thumb is "if someone bought my home would s/he learn to deal with this?" If so, feel free to mention it in passing, or in the home exchange instructions, to your swap partner. On other other hand, if it is likely that specialized personnel (such as an electrician, police officer or farm hand) may have to be called to deal with an on-going problem, let the exchangers decide as early in the negotiation process as possible if they want to suffer that inconvenience.
In home exchange, as in life, honesty is the best policy. Just remember that not all quirks may seem like negatives to an adventurous swap partner.
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