WHICH SWAPPER CAN YOU TRUST?

At the moment we are negotiating a swap with a couple who say they have completed 78 exchanges. We thought we had done a lot with over 40 exchanges under our belt.

I have never met anyone who has done more home exchanges than I have, but this couple has exchanged homes more times than my family, my sister and my parents combined.

It put me at ease that this couple had done so many home swaps. It seems unlikely that any one inconsiderate or dirty would get that far.

We chatted by phone and felt very comfortable commiting to a non-simultaneous exchange with them. Since we will be using their home after they stay here, and because there is a car exchange involved we asked them to do a contract to formalize the swap.

The week after we electronically signed the contract we had a really enticing offer. We are always interested in the Northern California Wine Country The couple whose home we will use is from the Central Coast wine area which is more remote, with fewer attractions than Napa County up north. The new offer was from our favorite Northern California town in the Napa/Sonoma area. It is known for its spas, mineral hot springs, wineries and wonderful bicycle riding.

The exchange home we agreed to use is small for our family. The new house in the exciting town is huge, gorgeous and perfectly situated.

Oh well, too bad for us. I won't say I was thrilled we already committed to the more isolated swap but it doesn't matter. A home exchange commitment should be broken in only the most dire circumstances. A better offer does not qualify.

The fact is, the couple on the Central Coast with the more modest home have a huge advantage over the dream house owners: experience.

Given two swaps that both interest me, I will always pick the long-term home exchangers over new swappers. I am used to holding the hands of new exchangers, but it's a pleasure to swap with home exchange experts instead.

There is a clear difference in approach between new and old exchangers. For instance, I mention my interest in biking in my listing. The experienced swappers took the time to send me contact info for the local bicycle shop that rents road bikes. Good exchangers try to anticipate their guests' needs to make the swap a good experience.

Home exchange is not just about a house. It is more a process of becoming friends with people you may never meet. Pick your friends wisely and you will have a wonderful swap no matter where you go.