KIDS HOME EXCHANGE RULES

As I recently updated my home exchange rules, I felt a need to address the potential behavior of swappers' children. I have always hesitated to mention anything about how children should treat our home. No one likes to be told how to raise his or her children, yet everyone seems eager to offer that advice. Then something happened that showed me I had to say something.

This stemmed from a disconcerting experience. It was a visit from an old college friend who now has two sons. One boy is four and one is six. Our own son is three and extremely well-behaved. Our daughter is only 18-months old, but she already understands "no" and "time out" and amends her behavior if prompted.

Since our children are still toddlers, yet follow instructions, we assumed these older children would be even better behaved. Not true. Though sweet little boys, the kids jumped on our furniture (custom-built sofa, new chair and easily poppable air bed), ran around the house, terrorized the cats, tore flowers off the orchid, refused to take off their shoes on entering the apartment and so on. Their father was unconcerned about their behavior.

Our home is not child-proofed, and we have instead house-proofed our children. These visitors were not house-proofed. We were thrilled that they left after one night without destroying more items than they did.

This experience made me very nervous about having children in our home. That's just awful since we have two kids ourselves. I have noticed, however, that we do not conform to the much more permissive parenting style that is common these days. With this in mind, I felt it necessary to add some suggestions about children's behavior in our home.

"
* Children may not jump or stand on beds or furniture.
* Children must be supervised on terrace, in tub and near windows at all times.
* Please do not let children operate or play with any appliances such as televisions, lights, bath, remote controls, stereo, air conditioners, stove/oven or dishwasher."

I avoided including instructions like "Don't let your child destroy our belongings." That's just rude. I did, however, include information that makes it clear to parents that our home is not child-proofed. For instance, even though we have window guards on all of our windows, a child could still throw something out the window or off the terrace, injuring someone 200 feet below. S/he could get scalded in the tub, on our hot halogen lights, or if opening a hot dishwasher or oven.

Would instructions like these alienate a parent? Let me know what you think via the comments link below.

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