The first home exchange I did was to Colonial Williamsburg when I was eight. In the decades since then, my family has received hundreds, if not thousands, of swap offers. So I sit up and take notice when there is something in a swap listing that I have never seen before.
One couple that just contacted me will get the 2009 prize for Creativity in Bad Home Exchange Offers. Their swap offer was one of the worst I have ever received, but for refreshingly uncommon reasons.
Most bad swap offers fall into a few common categories:
* SPAM OFFERS: these are very short, general requests for a swap that are clearly cut-and-pasted to dozens of home exchangers at a time, as evidenced by the > symbol before each line of text. An example would be "Want to visit New York. See my listing and let me know if you're interested." Often these are addressed by name to someone besides me because some swap clubs automatically add the name of the exchanger being contacted to the email, and swap spammers forget to delete the name before sending the message to someone else.
* INAPPROPRIATE OFFERS: people who don't bother to read my listing before sending an offer sometimes have text in the own listing that shows they would not want to exchange with us. Some people note in their listing that they are allergic to cats or don't want children in their home. If they actually read the listings of the people they contacted they would save everyone a lot of time.
* UNAPPEALING OFFERS: the most basic form of swap offer that is unlikely to get a positive response is one without photos. Bad photos can be another problem. People, straighten up your home before you post pictures of it! Offers from smokers are unappealing because their home is likely to reek of smoke, and I do not want any chance that my home will do the same when I return from vacation.
* PEOPLE WHO IMPOSE: some swappers make suggestions about the swap that make it clear they are not considerate. An example would be the woman who said "there are four in our exchange party. Well, five if you count my dog, who goes everywhere with me." Everywhere except my home. Assuming one's pet will be welcome in an exchanger's home, as opposed to politely requesting such a favor, marks a swapper as someone with whom I would not want to trade homes.
* ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT NEEDED: the woman whose initial email said "my home is worth a million dollars and I am only interested in trading for comparable properties" did not have the right home exchange spirit. Most apartments in my neighborhood are worth far more than one million dollars, even in a bad real estate market. I suggested this woman contact swappers with smaller homes than mine, to ensure she was getting a comparable exchange property. People who make it clear they see home exchange only as a way to save money are also in this category, as are those who do not seem as if they will take good care of my home.
Like many Manhattan home exchangers, I get hundreds of exchange offers each year, so I am used to some of those requests falling into the categories above. Imagine my surprise when a swapper managed to send me a home exchange request that hit all of these sour notes, and added a few new twists. I'll share the excitement next time.
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